Oliver

I don’t think I’ve met a more happier dog. He’s always smiling. Such a huge personality and such a weird, weird animal. Even if he doesn’t listen to his mom and “respects” his dad more (according to CH), he’s still my little ray of sunshine. Little squeaky wookie-sounding ray of sunshine. He loves helping me with my laundry… and has a strange fascination with dirty underwear. He goes crazy for that stuff. So if you’re ever visiting, try to keep those hidden unless you don’t mind his perverse habits and holes in your undies. He’s a hopper, not a jumper. It’s funny. He doesn’t really bite, just puts your hand affectionately in his mouth. He licks everything–walls, sheets, floors, hands. He squeaks when he’s bored or needs to go out. He’s fairly laid back until his cousin Becca comes around or has other doggies to play with, such as the pits (looooves Capone!). Oh, sometimes in the morning he will talk.  He did it more when we lived with my sister and her Becca. Whenever Becca needed out, Oliver would be sure to let everyone know that his cousin needs to pee in his little wookie voice. Seriously. He loves shower water. And he can’t see very well because of his little terrier bangs in his eyes.  He’s so great!

I love Oliver.

Kansas City, here I come…

Well, I’m back on my old stomping grounds. Besides the major consumption of alcohol, it’s been pretty laid back and uneventful. That’s okay with me for now. I don’t have my bed at mom’s yet, so I’ve been staying with CH since last Tuesday and it’s actually the longest time we’ve spent together! At this rate, I think we’re going to make it.

Well, that’s my tiny update. Tata.

Been awhile.

Not having my own computer of any sort is really starting to piss me off.  How did people live without them before? It’s not just wanting something to do, it’s the convenience of having one to do whatever I want whenever I want. I hate having to go to the school to use their computers because I don’t have any privacy and it’s somewhat distracting because some people need to learn how to type properly instead of poking at the keyboard like a fucking chimpanzee. Seriously. Then there is the person to the right of me who won’t stop breathing heavily from his mouth. Or the person behind me who really needs to blow their nose. By the way, stop with loud gum chewing! Ughhhhhh!

Not only does it suck having zero intarwebz at home, but my insurance is really starting to piss me off. My particular agent decided to up and retire without telling anybody. Some lady has taken over and is re-doing the office so it’s been closed for the past week (no phone call, anything?), leaving me unable to pay my insurance bill. She gave me a number to call and the “store” is closed. I tried to pay online, but what I owe isn’t showing up. And I’m not supposed to be late anymore. If I’m late, they cancel my account. And if they cancel my account because of this, I will no doubt raise some hell.

Ugh.

22

Today is my 22nd birthday. For the first time ever,  I am feeling the rush and regret of getting older. It’s coming down on me pretty hard. I feel as if I turned 30 today… it’s insane.

If it weren’t for a certain person, I would probably be in bed crying myself to sleep right now. He made my day amazing. He made me feel appreciated and loved. Something that I never felt so strong before…

CH, I love you. You make me appreciate life so much more now that you’re in mine. Thank you.

Another Good One

Another good weekend! Hung out with CH a lot. Met his parents, too. First time ever that I actually felt comfortable around parents enough to come out of my shell a bit. This is big news. I’m happy!

Am I going somewhere?

I have had this feeling for the longest time now that I’m just floating around aimlessly. Not going anywhere in my life. It’s funny, I have never been able to picture a future for myself. You know? Most little girls think about their dream weddings, dream families, dream homes, dream jobs. I have never seen any of that for myself and the more I grow up, the more I  find it a little eerie. Like, what if I don’t have a future? What if I’m not able to picture myself here or there because I’m not going to live to that point? It bothers me when I hear people talk about their future like it was chosen for them.  I didn’t dream about any of it. I can’t see myself getting married or having kids or getting a degree. Or getting old for that matter. It’s so scary. I think it would explain why I have no motivation to get through school. I just can’t see myself doing something big. It’s odd and depressing, because I want to imagine all of that.

For example. CH mentioned earlier that I don’t really seem as excited as everyone that I’m moving back to Kansas City in the next couple months after living in Tulsa for a year and a half. It’s because the idea seems so surreal. Like it’s not going to happen. Yet… I can’t see myself staying in Tulsa. Nor anywhere else for that matter. Am I going to fall into a dark void somewhere? And it’s not that I don’t want to go back, because I really do. All my friends are there, the man I’m in love with is there, and my family… Man, I don’t know. It’s always been like this for me. Obviously no one can really predict the future, but most people have a general idea of what their future looks like, or at least what they want it to look like. I don’t. Isn’t that scary?

It’s really hard to explain without sounding negative and… well, crazy. I know I want to succeed at something. I know I want to find a career that fits me. I know I want to get married and possibly even who I want to marry. And that should be enough to get me through whatever the fuck this is, but I don’t know. I’m cursed.

The good news is that I never saw myself graduating high school and I did. I never thought I could get away from certain people and I did. So, maybe I’m just crazy and have a fear of the unknown. Or maybe I’m going to be abducted by aliens and live the rest of my life as an experiment. Hm.

 

I really hate thinking sometimes.

 

Successful weekend!

I had a pretty good weekend in Kansas City. Actually, nothing went wrong except for the fact that I was constantly hungover. But that’s to be expected, I guess.

Got into town around 8ish Friday night and just hung out with my CH. Drank three bottles of champagne and watched movies and talked. It was pretty fun. He thought Iwas being  mean, but nah… you’re just sensitive, baby! Got my license renewed Saturday morning, saw mom’s new house (my future temp home), had lunch at Ruby Tuesday, had dinner with some old friends and some drinks with some other old friends. Spent today lounging around and doing we what do best. Very good weekend.

I think it’s pretty safe the say that I have found the one. I mean, he baked me peanutbutter cookies from scratch, he has to be it. I’m perfectly happy about that thought and couldn’t ask for a better man. It’s honestly a different feeling that I have never felt before. And I am relieved and thankful that I finally get my turn to be happy with someone. It’s amazing that he feels so much for me. He genuinely cares about me. Ah! Love him…

If you don’t have anything nice to say…

then don’t say it?

 

(Took heed of my words and deleted this post since it wasn’t very nice. I didn’t feel like being a hypocrite like some people.)

 

 

Stupid dog…

So, I’m skipping class tonight. Originally, I was going to skip because I felt going tonight would have been pointless and I can get the notes off blackboard. But now the reason is because I’m angry at my dog. GRR. Some guy knocked on the door wanting to talk to the man of the house (I’m not good enough? Why does it have to be the MAN of the house?), so of course Oliver got out, excited to see a new human. Then I spent the next 15-20 minutes chasing after him down the street. It was embarrassing, because everyone was outside due to it being such a nice day and there I was yelling at him, pathetically beckoning him to come back to me.  He was following the guy around door-to-door, but of course he couldn’t stop for a second and help me get a hold of the damn mutt. Just stood there and laughed. Anyway, a nice man getting ready to walk his well-behaved dog caught a hold of Ol’s collar. Of course he pulled himself out of it and I had to carry him a good 100 feet. He’s nearly half my weight… I’m exhausted.

But here I am now, worn out and needing a beer.

Yep. That’s all it takes.

Quickie Rant

One of the things I will write about most in this journal is my job. I’m a server at a medium priced chain restaurant and I’m basically obsessed with how waiters and waitresses get treated.  I probably have no business being in this industry seeing as I have a stronge dislike for most people, but being 21-years-old without any other work experience doesn’t help my situation any.

One of my work petpeeves is dealing cheapo people. For one, don’t go out to eat at a sit-down restaurant if you don’t want to pay the price for decent quality food. By the way, unlike Applebees or Chili’s,  everything is fresh at my restaurant which makes the prices a little higher. If you’re dining in such a place like mine, you need to keep in mind that most things will not be free. Oh, you want to sub a cup of (fresh) fruit for your fries? That’ll be a $1.49. Yes, I have to charge you for that. No, unfortunately, getting a salad that’s supposed to be made with chicken without the chicken won’t change the price. It’s called the Walt’s Champagne Chicken Salad for a reason. And no, you cannot have a bowl of lemons with your water. The most I ever bring to a person who asks for “lots and lots of lemon with my water, please!” is three. Also, complaining about how much your food sucked AFTER eating and licking the plate clean won’t get you a comp’d meal. Thanks for trying, though.

That’s all for now. More to come later. I promise that.